i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm having to shit out rocks
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