He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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