Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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