I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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