where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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