Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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