Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
