my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
