normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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