Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
