I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
