new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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