oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
