You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
