bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
