he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
