Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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