We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
