i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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