just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
