I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
