Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we have pet lesbian snakes
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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