pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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