i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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