I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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