You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
