its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize