thus making me awesome and them whores
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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