Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
