enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
