somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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