I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize