Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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