I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Are we still banned from the library?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
