thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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