Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
wow bdsm is so cute
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
