if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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