when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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