My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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