he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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