PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
