just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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