Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
