There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
