Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
