yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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