Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think my vagina is haunted
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
