"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize