I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
