Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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