playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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