Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
