your parents love me but you hate me
I met the friendliest cop last night
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Barsexuality is the new black.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
