There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
