what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
