we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize